Total distance: 1.05
I GOT MY NEW TOY!!! After doing a bit of browsing around, I decided on the Garmin Forerunner 10 - based on the reviews, it was more or less what I needed, and I couldn't care less about how it didn't do the things that the people training for marathons needed. What I cared about? Seeing my time and distance on the same screen. Therefore, this one was perfect. And if there was any question, I got it in bright pink.
Unfortunately, the first time I took it out for a spin, I had a pretty not-great run. I was grumpy when I was done. I felt slow and out of shape and full of self-loathing because it took me a long time and a lot of struggling to run a mile. In hindsight - hey, I ran a mile! That's more than a lot of people can do, and it's more than I used to be able to do. And even though it sucked, it was the best I could do on this day, so.